No Bravery
by RainGoddess2040
Summary: CHOY. Chad x Troy. Trad. ChadxTroy. Angst abounds baby. Don't like, don't read.


**Title:** No Bravery  
**Author:** raingoddess2040  
**Pairing:** Chad/Troy, ChadxTroy, Choy  
**Fandom:** High School Musical  
**Rating:** FRM  
**Warnings:** Slash, mentions of physical and sexual abuse, angst  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.  
**A/N:** This came to me while listening to the song this fic is named for – No Bravery by James Blunt.

**# **

There are children standing here  
Arms outstretched into the sky  
Tears drying on their face  
He has been here

Brothers lie in shallow graves  
Fathers lost without a trace  
A nation blind to their disgrace  
Since he's been here

And I see no bravery  
No bravery in your eyes anymore  
Only sadness

_ No Bravery by: James Blunt_

**#**

_There are children standing here_

The first time Troy saw Chad, they were both in kindergarten and some second graders were picking on Chad and calling him names. The names were the usual type: shorty, baby and pipsqueak. They were also some more specific types: frizzy head, black boy and (a big word for second graders) outsider.

Troy didn't understand, but when Chad began to cry, Troy knew something was wrong. He ran over to Chad and the second graders as fast as his little legs could carry him. He ran right into the first boy, knocking him down and then he kicked the other in the shins. For all their previous bravado, they both ran away crying.

Troy then stretched out his small hand towards Chad's even smaller one and pulled the still sniffing boy to him in a hug. He pulled back looking into a shocked face with some of the prettiest brown eyes he had ever seen.

He said to the other boy, "My mama says that hugs are magic and that they make things better. Do you feel better?" Chad nodded.

Troy smiled and said, "Do you want to be my friend?" Chad nodded again.

Troy asked, "Best friend?" and Chad smiled back and whispered, "Best friends. My name's Chad."

"Cool. My name's Troy. Let's go play."

_Arms outstretched into the sky_

It was raining. It hadn't rained for a long time and the citizens of Albuquerque thought that they were long overdue for a little wet weather. What they weren't expecting was the drizzle that greeted them for a few weeks instead of a torrential downpour that lasted for days. This of course could not dampen the spirits of ten-year-old Troy and nine-year-old Chad; the weather merely excited them to epic proportions.

Although there were warnings from many adult mouths, they were drowned out by the excited cries of two young boys.

They ran out, to the highest hill they could find, their bare legs and arms freezing as they sprinted through the drops. They called to the wind and screamed with the thunder all the way to their favorite low hill, which was conveniently located only a block from Troy's house. They dashed to the top through mini mudslides and tiny streams of gushing water. They reached the top, looked out at their small portion of the world, and felt deeply connected to it and to eachother.

Troy turned to look at Chad, just as the younger boy did the same. They stared into eachother's eyes and something passed between them that they would never understand, but they knew that it was real and beautiful. Slowly they lifted their small arms towards the heavens and turned their faces upwards to the rain, screaming joyously and laughing at the majesty of nature and themselves.

_Tears drying on their face_

Troy was twelve the day he learned that big boys could cry, too.

Troy's twelfth birthday was to be a magnificent event, spanning two days that included an all night, mega movie fest and a trip to a theme park. Troy had invited as many friends as humanly and financially possible, but was upset to find that one friend was not there, that one friend seemed to have forgotten, that one friend seemed not to care. Chad had not shown up. It said specifically in his specially hand written (by Troy) invitation that he was to be at Troy's house at 6pm on Friday and he wasn't there. Troy was devastated that his best friend, his brother hadn't shown, but he tried not to show it. He knew that Chad had a good reason for his absence.

On Saturday night, after all the other boys had left, there came a knock on the Bolton's door. Troy opened it to find himself face-to-face with a rather large if not hastily wrapped gift. Troy took the present, put it aside, and came face-to-face with the best present he'd ever gotten. There stood Chad with wide, anxious eyes and a mouth dripping with apology. Troy rushed forward, gathering the smaller boy in a backbreaking hug. It felt so good that Troy didn't want to let go, but when he heard Chad whimper, he let go in an instant.

It was dark outside and Troy was so happy to see his friend that he hadn't noticed that Chad was hurt. He couldn't properly see the small cuts and bruises that littered almost every available square inch of Chad's visible skin. Only when he pulled a reluctant Chad into the light of the entrance hall did he see the destruction on his friend's body.

Troy's eyes filled with tears as he stared at Chad's face. Nothing on his friend's face was left unscarred or unmarred; even his usually bright eyes were dark. His lips trembled as he pulled his 'little brother' to him and whispered, "My mama says that hugs are magic and that they make things better. Do you feel better?" Chad nodded, tearfully.

"Are you still my friend?"

"Yes," Chad choked out, his arms trembling on Troy's chest.

"Best friend?"

"Uh huh."

"Can you tell me who did this to you?"

"No."

"Why not? Best friends tell eachother everything. You can tell me."

"I can't tell you, Troy," Chad sobbed.

"Why?"

"He'd kill me."

_**He has been here…**_

_Brothers lie in shallow graves_

The day that Chad's older brother James died was something neither Chad nor Troy wanted to remember. It was scarring in many ways, not just emotionally. However, whereas Troy didn't want to remember because death was something that he wasn't prepared for, Chad didn't want to remember because it was the day he lost all hope.

Chad's brother died on a Saturday afternoon. He had never seen the car coming or so they say, but Chad knew he had seen the driver. How could someone mistake their own father?

James' funeral was short and sweet with a few people giving heartfelt speeches about a young man that Troy and Chad weren't sure they knew. The James that Troy had known was fun, outgoing and really smart. The James that Chad had known was strong, caring and gave the best hugs that a little brother could ask for. The stories they heard about a young boy on the brink of manhood, a stellar student reaching for the stars and a sweet boy in love with a bombshell went right over their heads. They felt like they were getting to know him all over again and that makes them miss him even more.

The jury was out on who grieved his loss more as James' had been an important part of both boys' lives. He was their big brother. He was their protector. He was their solace. Now, he was gone.

The only person who didn't seem to grieve was Chad's father. David Danforth had not a tear in his eye, but a smile on his face. 'His son had felt no pain and was now in heaven with the angels. He was too young to leave, yes, but when it's your time to go it is your time to go.' He was cordial, but seemed distant to the mourners. He never looked anyone in the eye, but he kept his eyes on Chad for the entire day. His eyes never strayed and every time Chad turned to look, he felt poison leaking from beneath his father's eyelids.

After the funeral, Troy didn't hear from Chad for a week. When he finally saw Chad, he cursed the heavens to every plain of hell, for the pain in those eyes, with a simple whisper of the name of the only angel he knew.

"Chad."

_Fathers lost without a trace_

Chad started smiling again when his father left him to stay with the Boltons, but he never really smiled again after he came back.

The day David Danforth left Chad on the Bolton's doorstep was the happiest day of 16-year-old Chad Danforth's life. His father was goin away to get 'help' with the small drinking problem he'd developed. Chad knew very well that that little problem was more of catastrophe made possible by the great availability of alcohol. Six shots of bourbon with breakfast, a liquid lunch and a dinner with five glasses of wine that was usually thrown up later on.

Those 5 months saw a change in Chad like no other. He was more outgoing, more attentive and more energetic. He was also just plain old happier to be in the loving home of the Bolton's. He wished that he could stay forever, but he knew that he couldn't, knew that his father wouldn't let him be happy.

David Danforth arrived back in Albuquerque after 5 months at a rehab center. He was a changed man – supposedly. He did treat Chad differently, but Chad was still wary of his father, as was Troy. Troy had long figured after that night 4 years before that Chad's father was hurting him, but he hadn't figured out what to do about it. Chad knew that Troy knew, but neither could tell an adult because they had no proof, but Chad's word, as all the cuts and bruises had faded.

Chad left that day, with David Danforth and arrived at school the next day with haunted eyes. He wouldn't let anyone touch him and it looked as if it hurt him to sit down.

_A nation blind to their disgrace_

Troy bore witness to the construction of the Wall of Chad when he was thirteen years old when it had been a somewhat flimsy thing. He watched over the years as it grew into an impenetrable barricade that blocked anyone who came near. He watched as Chad realized that his aloofness made people suspicious. He watched as that wall became a bubble that any inquiries just slid off of. He watched as Chad's smile faded behind a manic grin reminiscent of the smiles of those affected by the madness of the Joker. Troy thought that the comparison was accurate as David Danforth was most definitely insane and all the Joker's victims were made to smile through their pain.

Troy noticed all the times that Chad slipped, although they were few. Once in basketball, coach had shouted at Chad for being slow; Troy saw the flash of tears in those brown eyes. In Spanish, the teacher spoke about family units where there was only a father and children; he saw Chad's eyes harden. And one night, when he and all their friends had gone out, he noticed Chad's not so subtle hints to stay out longer. He knew that Chad didn't want to go home; he even knew some of the reasons why. He didn't know that the house that Chad had lived in for all his life had ceased being a home the day Chad's mother died.

People always asked Troy if Chad was okay, but it was never an actual inquiry into his health. They only asked because they thought Chad was too hyper, a bit of a space cadet or addicted to basketball.

When Troy's grandfather died, everyone was there for him, asking him if he was okay, if he wanted to go home. However, it was a different story when Chad's last remaining grandparent, his Grandma Georgina, died. No one asked if Chad was okay, no one offered him but the minimum of condolences and no one asked if he was okay. Troy asked himself how people could claim to be someone's friends and then leave them when that person needs them the most.

Everyone in their year was someone that called Troy a friend or acquaintance. Troy hated them all.

_**Since he's been here**_

_And I see no bravery_

The day that Chad finally broke was a day that Troy could never forget, but he desperately wanted to.

The day of Troy's 18th birthday, was a cool, but bright day that Troy, Chad and their friends were meant to spend at the country club. Chad was late and hadn't called or answered any of Troy's repeated text messages. This was an omen like no other. Troy remembered the only other time that this had happened and he knew that no matter what, it couldn't have been good.

The day had gone over well even though Chad wasn't there and Troy had been deathly worried for his friend. All the others had tried to cheer him up or make him smile, but none of it worked. The only spark Troy had shown was when someone made a snide remark about Chad. Troy almost hurt them. After that they learned not to say anything and let Troy do whatever he liked.

The night of his birthday, however was not so spectacular for Troy because Chad finally answered his messages, saying that he was in the parking lot. Troy flew out of the restaurant where they were having his birthday dinner, like a bat out of hell. He searched for Chad's car, calling his name, screaming his name. He heard a small whisper of his name and followed it to Chad, who was sitting next to the open door of his car as if he'd fallen and hadn't been able to get back up again.

"Chad?" Troy whispered as he tread softly towards his fallen friend.

"Troy? Is that you? Please say it's you," Chad pleaded brokenly.

"Yeah, baby, it's me," Troy didn't know why the endearment fell from his lips, but it felt right.

"I've fallen and now I can't get up," Chad laughed emptily and turned his face to the full moon.

"Chad, it's gonna be okay, baby. Stay with me now. You're the only one I've got at my back in this messed up world. You can't go leaving me alone," Troy's voice was strained as he saw the destruction of Chad's face. There were bruises on every inch and cuts littered his lips and cheeks.

"I am?" Chad asked as Troy came down beside him and took his hand.

"Am what?"

"Your baby."

"Yeah, you are. Sorry it took so long for me to figure it out. I love you, you know."

"No, you don't."

"Yeah, I do."

"No, you don't Troy because no one can love someone as screwed up as me."

"Well, it's a bit late for that now, isn't it? I love you. Get over it."

Chad's smile was ghastly and bloody. "Okay."

"Chad?"

"Yeah?"

"You're never going back there. I promise. I won't let you go back."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

Troy pulled the younger boy into his lap and held him as he cried in pain and sorrow and maybe, a little joy. That was when he felt something warm and damp on his legs. Troy's shock rose, but he had become more focused. That's when he noticed all the blood in the driver's seat of Chad's car, on the floor of the car and in the parking lot. His hands immediately went to his cell phone.

By the time the ambulance got to the country club, Chad had all but passed out. All Troy and Chad's friends had come outside to witness the scene. They ran over to Troy as the paramedics loaded Chad into the ambulance asking questions about what was going on. Troy glared at them so fiercely that they stayed back. He then turned and got into the ambulance leaving them behind.

Chad was in pain, but happy because he had finally found love. Troy hated everyone except the person whose soft hand he was holding. They were crying on the inside and the world wept along with them.

_No bravery in your eyes anymore_

Chad spent a month in the hospital. Chad's body had suffered years of abuse and doctors were surprised that Chad had made it to his car much less the country club. Troy wasn't. He knew that Chad had more strength than people gave him credit for. He also knew that Chad wasn't of the same opinion.

Once Chad was out of the hospital, he stayed with the Bolton's and Troy never left his side. Their friends asked Chad all of these questions, apologized for not noticing and begged for forgiveness. It was only proof of a deity's infinite mercy that Chad forgave them and that Troy didn't kill them for distressing Chad.

Chad was physically well and seemed to have healed emotionally as well, but Troy saw what others didn't. He saw the tears that never fell from those beautiful brown eyes. He saw the pain that crippled Chad at every basketball practice. He saw the fear that clutched at Chad's heart every time the phone would ring. He saw the sweat soaked sheets, the blood-shoot eyes and the scratched and bruised skin from every nightmare. He saw the wall being built up again slowly, but surely. He saw Chad lock himself away again, but knew that he could fix it this time.

He talked Chad down when he got too upset. He pulled Chad aside and had him sit down and relax when he was in pain. He made his parents get caller-id so that Chad would know who was calling. He held Chad at night, while he slept, whispering sweet nothings. He took the wall down piece by piece.

Chad changed a lot because of what happened. He became quieter and more wary. He laughed and smiled less, but when he did, they were true. He stopped hiding behind basketball and let the real Chad shine through. Troy was glad of it. Others took longer to adjust. No one said anything to the effect of them missing the old Chad, the fake Chad. They said not a word because they didn't want to get on the bad side of Troy.

Chad and Troy had the love they'd needed and wanted for so long. They were happy and the world applauded their joy

_Only sadness _

After Chad's father killed himself in prison, Chad didn't sleep for a week. Troy couldn't eat for the week. And the world waited with baited breath.

There was a funeral and only Chad, Troy and the Bolton's attended. Everyone knew what David Danforth had done to his son only a day after the incident at Troy's birthday occurred. He'd been tried and convicted not a week later to 20 years imprisonment for attempted murder. Because of this, the funeral was short and simple, with only one of the mourners – Chad – crying.

After they returned home, Troy asked Chad why he was crying. Chad said that he was crying for the father that he'd lost, not the man who died. Troy understood and he didn't, but he couldn't stand to see that sadness in Chad's eyes.

That night, when they went to bed, Troy held Chad as he wept and sang, "There are children standing here…"

_And I see no bravery  
__No bravery in your eyes anymore  
__Only sadness_


End file.
